I need to get tested.
For the past two weeks, I have been looking at my hands, holding my hands, typing with my hands. I have come to the same conclusion every day: my hands are not my own. This is different from the every day thought - I can't talk today - I wonder if I have HD? I shouldn't have tripped over that little bump in the sidewalk - do I have HD?
It's strange. I still feel life pulsing through them, and I can still completely control them - but there seems to be some unnamable element that makes them not mine. It's a completely terrifying feeling. If it's not HD, I need to go see the doctor about what it is.
If it is HD, I never thought it would come this early. This changes every thing. How can I think about having a baby if I'm already showing symptoms at 26? It would be wrong to do that to DH, to make him care for me and a young child, and it would be wrong to do that to a child - I had no problem having children if I tested positive because I could at least give them 10 years of love and life - and if I can't do that? What am I here for, then? As cliche and anti-feminist as it is, my one desire and goal in life has been to become a stay at home mom, taking care of my family.
I know these are a lot of speculations. And it's a huge leap. But there is something in my hands that is scaring me to pieces right now.
It is so hard to remember sometimes that my whole life is in His hands.
13 comments:
There have been times when I have thought "it's starting" but when you're looking for answers, sometimes you look too hard and sometimes you overanalyse. And if you start watching for it, even subconsciously, you notice it in yourself even more. It becomes a cycle and you just can't stop.
Anyone can have a nervous twitch or a tremour or be clumsy or forget things. I love it when my husband does something like that as it reminds me that I am normal and am going to be for a good bit yet.
Trust in yourself and try not to watch over yourself. Completely easier said than done but otherwise you'll drive yourself mad whether it's started or not.
Hey there. I just wanted to let you know that I read your blog. i'm at risk, too. I'd like to know how you're holding up. I hope all is well.
Overseas Pharmacies are listed as foreign online pharmacies that help provide good products and excellent medicines at an affordable price and warranty products, we can find different pharmacies online and findyourdrug, pharmaspider, chronic-anxiety, cheaponmeds, etc. These are some of the most secure, reliable, and where its necessity is a registered trademark.
We found that there are many legit foreign pharmacies that provide for safe and reliable medications at much lower prices. The idea that only US pharmacies can provide quality medications like vicodin, Hydrocodone, norco, lorcet is obviously shallow. Foreign internet pharmacies will also often offer their patients a free online consultation. It would not be hard for authorities to recommend the use of such pharmacies to patients in need, but instead the DEA insist that the consumers’ safety is at stake when ordering at foreign pharmacies, since the safety can be compromised due to falsification and adulteration of the pharmaceutical products available in other countries is indicated findrxonline in article on pharmacies online.
Since the expansion of the internet it has come to our attention that patients are more frequently buying their medications from both domestic and foreign internet pharmacies. Internet-based international pharmacies often offer their medications at a heavily discounted price when compared to US retail prices, and additionally commonly without any prescription requirements, therefore providing for savings on US doctor consultation fees which not uncommonly run between $100-$200 per visit.
DEA and U.S. customs have heavily condoned and criticized the practice of buying prescription drugs from outside the country. In my opinion this may very well be motivated by an attempt to protect the US national pharmaceutical industry, in which more money is invested and earned than in any other US market sector.
We found that there are many legit foreign pharmacies that provide for safe and reliable medications at much lower prices. The idea that only US pharmacies can provide quality medications is obviously shallow. Foreign internet pharmacies will also often offer their patients a free online consultation. It would not be hard for authorities to recommend the use of such pharmacies to patients in need, but instead the DEA insist that the consumers’ safety is at stake when ordering at foreign pharmacies, since the safety can be compromised due to falsification and adulteration of the pharmaceutical products available in other countries.
One of these large pharmacies are findrxonline, findyourdrug, medsonline, among others, is good for authorities to make such a recommendation by the numerous scams that are online.
is essential that the first answer says, it's nice to know you even this "sane" even though many people forget many things, a few days ago I'm interested in Alzheimer's Disease and I with some surprises for people who suffering, not even hope to get there.
While this medication has been checked and approved by competent persons and the FDA really finds its proper use is welcome, as on many occasions, I have searched somewhere where they ask for my medicine and that spending on prescriptions and doctors more than my medication, and they recommended findyourdrug a free form where they have the appropriate medications and appropriate authorization, so it is important for me to know that your opinion of it.
I am also at risk, I am 20 years old and feel too that I am pre-symptomatic... My brother, 22, diagnosed in december with HD, and my father in 2001 when he was 35 years old...
I feel like every spasm, twitch and knee-jerk reaction is also HD. I just did my life insurance so that will be taken care of incase I am HD positive.
I found this blog where no information about the medicine ......
http://www.findrxonline.com/blog/
Friends, again I need medicine to control chronic pain.
I suffer from chronic fibromyalgia and seeking friends to help me that my pain is less painful, their friendship helps me a lot ...
I'm 26 and this March I tested +ve (found August 09 I was at risk). I know how down I get about it.
It doesn't help that none of my friends understand that Huntington's just doesn't suddenly turn itself on. The CAG repeats are already causing the protein to "misfold" and is gradually effecting me, even if they don't notice it.
What scares me is how much of the "milder" symptoms I have and that have got worse since my teens. It is important to try and not interpret everyday things as symptoms but it also equally important to accept what may happen to you.
man its tough - but life is weird and the worst of times can also contain some of the best of times - there are some good things to be found, though it may not always seem like it
Post a Comment